The heartache that will never go away

Time.

Listening to the song got me thinking alot. The only thing standing in the way between you and all of us, is time. And it's within this period of time that we're all suppose to find that joy and love before we can ever see you again.

All i know is that time pasts by so quickly. It's almost 2 months since your passing and yet, the heartache still seems to be lingering around somehow. I'm certainly not in denial but a few days ago i went through all of the old pictures and for some reason, i still don't understand how all this happened just like that. Thinking back on how we had so much fun together during a levels makes me so happy that i got to spend almost every single day with you but at the same time, it hurts so bad to know that there won't be anymore in the future. I can physically feel my heart sink and ache at the same time. It's as though my heart is being suppressed by negative emotions and inner pain.

It's like what Aunty Farah said. Never in a million years would anyone our age think about death. That's so true. Till today i look forward to seeing you when i go home. Not knowing that you'll be there to greet me still surprises me.

I know i said that i will stay strong and not shed a tear anymore. Well, i can safely say i didn't till i saw the video Zyl made you for his presentation today. It's times like these that i feel so selfish. I just wish i could have just one more chance to see you again. To hear your laughter. To give you a hug. Just once more.

Now the only way i can find you is by closing my eyes and speaking to you from the heart. Just picturing you in my mind still brings out the tears but they're not tears of sadness but tears of joy. The joy of having you in my memories. The joy of having had the chance to know you and most certainly, the joy of having had the experience of everything that we've gone through

You left a  mark on everyone of us. Although my wound has yet to heal, i believe it will in time.

xoxo